As per usual, I have a lot to say. This isn’t a newsletter anymore in the way that it used to be. I have to have a way to update you on what’s happening with the store and I need to ideally keep that separate from my musings because they don’t always talk to the same audience and most certainly not to the same needs.
Some of you just want updates and the crunch detail and some of you want the chat, the sharing, the information and the debate. I have learnt bitterly, that the moment I try and edit the way I express myself by worrying about pleasing anybody else, or the moment I worry about how my writing will get received, I can’t write effectively or with any kind of integrity. The loss of joy in expression is the sad consequence. So, I’m going to back myself and will just do it the way I always have. It won’t please everybody but I don’t write to please, I write to share and express. The person who connects with what I’m expressing is the person I’m writing for. I don’t write with an agenda and the moment I need to, I am manipulating rather than hoping to inspire by just being me. If I write with your opinion of me in mind, I block the channel and flow. I have to just do this my way. I can only ever fail by not fully bringing who I am to the world.
Thankfully, it seems that the closer I get to 40, the more comfortable I am to let go of any need I had to be popular and well-liked. I am more concerned nowadays with how much I like myself and when I’m not being real and hopping to keep other people happy, I’m miserable. Letting that one go and I hope you’ll do the same:)
When I have to write to affect an outcome my writing has no soul. My focus from here on, is just to make better effort at splitting up all the content on the blog so you can easily just cruise through what you want and ignore the rest.
I know that I have a business to run here and I do need to get the practical nuts and bolts all tidy to make this business sustainable. If the business of getting real food from our best local organic farms into real homes and real bellies can’t be sustainable in this form, it’ll be exceptionally sad. Yet, I’m most and more at home in the dialogue piece, in the communication space and in the heart place.
Finding the balance is a great challenge.
If I don’t take time out to remember why I’m involving myself in all this content and this practical bustle that is our business of getting produce in from these farms and then out to you, in the first place, I get demotivated very quickly.
So part of the success of any day for me, especially at the moment when the business faces the challenges of new processes, is about remembering to connect to the greater vision and make it happen through the detail. Without that piece, the detail becomes a burden and the days become soulless and I forget the point.
Isn’t it like that for all of us – that without a commitment to a greater vision, we just might all fold the moment we hit any obstacle? Give up on relationships at the slightest trouble or grave trouble when we don’t know where we meant to take them anyway? Give up on a boring job that actually serves a purpose in a grander plan? If you find yourself giving up on anything, I guess the key question to ask is ‘am I giving up because I don’t have an inspired vision for the future of this’ or because ‘this actually doesn’t fit in with my grandest vision’, the latter reason I’d say being a good reason to let go, the former maybe not.
So this morning, I noticed a particular feeling of demotivation creeping up in my soul, nonsense and noise stacking up on the challenges side getting a little overbearing, and knew that it was time to stop again and remember what we are meaning to do here in the first place.
I’ve been wading through new processes, new challenges, having to learn new things while we get stuck into the business of dealing with live stock everyday. It’s a very different business. To be honest, I’ve barely connected with or thought of the Jozi Real Food Revolution for the past 4 weeks. I’ve been too busy with our new service challenges! That’s crazy!
So it’s time today, I needed to sit back and remember. Why am I doing this? What do I mean to achieve? Why do we need a food revolution in the first place?
Where does all the detail we’re delving into now and all the paper work fit, in terms of the larger vision? And on this morning, I didn’t have to think or dream too hard because I found Wendell Berry and he did it all for me.
I hope he will do it for you too and remind you why it’s one of your greatest tasks at this time on this planet to eat responsibly and choose whole, fresh, farm food instead of corporate food.
Click here to let Wendell Berry inspire you about eating real organic food…